You Will Never Be French: An Internal Dialogue

You Will Never Be French: An Internal Dialogue

The summer might be officially over, but it’s still hot out here.  Here’s to rewinding to hot sticky afternoons in Hollywood captured by blurry lenses.  Because gosh dangit we looked good.

Ah yes, finally a good excuse to wear that Ref dress we bought the other week!

You’ve been wearing that dress in bars all week.

But if it didn’t show up on Instagram, did it really happen?

Maybe not your Instagram.

Hey, I don’t kiss and tell.

Yes you do.

No I don’t!


*makes internal pouty face*

Okay you can wear the dress!


Okay but you aren’t French Lindsey stop buying all these linen dresses.

Linen dresses aren’t inherently French, Lindsey.

But wearing them with floppy hat and straw basket kind of is.

I don’t have a straw basket.

You’re wearing a red scarf.


You’re wearing a navy linen Ref dress that’s supposed to be shot on a cute bike in the countryside not for shopping and dinner on Melrose in the middle of Pride Week.

I wear what I want. It’s the Summer of Birkin.  Literally everyone is doing it.

You look SO out of place.

Looking put together on Melrose isn’t out of place.

No, wearing black skinny jeans, black heels, and a moto jacket isn’t out of place. French Country Girl on a First Date in a dirty metro area is out of place.

Tell me again why we underdress here in LA?



Stop trying to look French, it’s a dead giveaway you aren’t French.

Moto jackets don’t breathe and LA girls still wear them in the dead of summer.

For Instagram, duh.

That is highly impractical.

Nothing about LA is practical.

Exactly. Which is why I love the simplicity of French or French-inspired style. It’s just the classics, meticulously paired. What’s so wrong with that?

You know you’ll change your mind next year.

No I won’t.

Don’t be ashamed.  Everyone does it.

I won’t. I like contemporary classics.

Yeah until Man Repeller declares “looking like you’re trying” a thing again.

One, that is a completely different discussion.  Two, they already did that.

It’s not!  You like putting in effort!  That’s literally the antithesis of “French girl cool”.

Say that phrase one more time.


I’m not French so clearly I’m “trying”.

Well A for effort then.

Thank you.